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CDFFL History

It has been pointed out that last year's league history was, in some respects, wildly inaccurate, and was in certain other respects out-and-out bullshit. A revised and somewhat more accurate league history follows.

It was the summer of 1918. Spirits among the Canadian military were critically low; few could forget how, in the late spring, the Ladies from Hades1 had taken disastrous losses during an ill-planned foray against a troop of German Girl Guides then encamped at Camembert Field.

It was at this juncture that Major Kevin LeLund, morale officer, arrived at an epiphany. Wars, he reasoned, are fought primarily for territorial expansion. Wars have a winning side and a losing side, and both sides wear uniforms and helmets. So, too, with football! Why had no-one noticed this before?

LeLund pondered the implications. How could he leverage this sudden insight to boost Canadian morale? His first thought -- cheerleading squads in the combat zone -- was a resounding (and bloody) failure. Still, there must be something. He entertained for some time the notion of a halftime show, but was stymied by the logistics of moving a sound system on and off the battlefield.

Then came the true revelation. If importing football conventions to the theater of war was impractical, maybe the solution was to simply send the Canadian army to the gridiron instead.

And thus was born the Canadian Defence Force Football League.

LeLund in his final game

The Canadian military took to the idea immediately, once it became clear that nobody would be shooting at them (at least, not at close range). Teams representing various units formed swiftly, with LeLund himself taking on the dual role of coach and halfback of the King's Own Kitty Killers2. Scrimmages were frequent and rowdy; few won-loss records were maintained, although a detailed accounting of post-game beer consumption has been carefully preserved by scholars of Canadian History.

Although the league proved to be a roaring success, LeLund was not to see it reach its zenith. In October of 1923, during a close contest against the Rock Hudson Light Infantry,3 LeLund tragically struck an iceberg and sank, leaving no survivors.

[1]This is a real Canadian brigade.

[2]Seriously, I don't make this crap up.

[3]You don't trust me at all, do you?